Life

Complaints and Grievances: Time to Rise Above Them

Complaints, Mishaps, and a lot of “Oh Crap, not again!” pretty much sums up our lives now.

“Even after knowing all this, you are asking us to rise above them! What’s wrong with you Jyotshna?”. Well, this topic will require a whole different blog to discuss! But, for now, let’s stick to complaints.

Imagine, it’s Monday morning (well one of the favourite times of the week to complain most strongly). It has been raining since last night, you’re not ready to leave the bed but the damned alarm started ringing. Or, your client wants to redo the plan from scratch and update all ideas. Or, you did not study, waited for the University to cancel the exams. But, guess what, you got disappointed because they did not. Or, you worked straight for 48 hours to urgently hand over content for approval. But, it’s been a week and the client says “Sorry, have not had time to look at it yet.”

Believe me, I have not made any of this up. Out of the 100 things that happened, these were the decent complaints to share. A sheer part and parcel of adult life. At one point or another, even you must have gone through some of this torture.

But, what’s even more surprising is that now as I recollect them, I am not irritated.

• 

The realization dawns upon complaints

I realized whether I complain to myself, my best friend, or my colleague, I am just wasting everybody’s time. I am simply holding on to grudges for long, long periods of time. Is it snatching away my peace of mind? Yes. Is it obstructing my creativity? Yes. Is it throwing my happiness far off in the ocean to swim with dolphins? Big Yes. As I write this, I got enlightened with the fact that if things don’t go my way, I feel upset. Well, that’s a small word, I go berserk altogether.

Complaints are nobody’s friend, they are those nosy next-door neighbours. They come to your house everyday asking for sugar (metaphorically, peace of mind) and we give it to them. No offence, but not everyone gets to live in the ideal Gokuldham Society.

So, what do we do with them? Forget? Ignore? The answer is to address. And address them well. The longer you run away from them, the longer complaints will haunt you.

Here’s how to counter complaints

Take a paper and write your complaints like a to-do list. At the end of the day, work on them. If you’ve listed ten and you’re able to tick off even three, carry forward the remaining to the next day. With a fresh mind, sit with it the next morning and you will be able to tick off more. By the end of the day, you will have the urge to strike off more items. That’s a human obsession, you know. With this, either two things will happen, either you’ll have more items to write or to strike. One way or the other, you will let your frustration out. Win-Win!

For better effectiveness, when you list your complaints, just beside them, write the things you’re grateful for. In this ‘Clash of Clans’, your grudges will be eventually balanced out. And we will achieve the ‘Balance’ Thanos wanted so desperately.

• 

Solution-oriented approach    

Even now, if you’re unable to cope up, it may be because you’ve enough time to spare. Take on new things and try to fill your routine. When you will learn to do something new, your mind will be automatically engaged with constructive thoughts. And you will be able to send off your complaints to the ocean. Not to enjoy with the dolphins, but to drown eternally.

Complaints are just opportunities, the only difference is that both reside in parallel universes. Better things are on their way, they might get lost for a while, but they will find their way back home, to you. Because you deserve it all.

• 

An authentic anecdote

When I was writing this initially, I thought of only blabbering about my problems and encourage complaining. After 5 days, when I sat again with this story, after changing my perspective, I had a more constructive approach. I will not lie to you that the methods I just listed are 100 % effective. But, they surely teach me to deal with the situation better. And thus, helping me to achieve my goal of becoming a better version of myself with each passing moment.

Read one of the blogs I have written lately,

https://www.penloverskolkata.com/2021/09/23/the-little-book-of-architecture/